Alfie's Log - a winter of content

Initially, after the injury, I could do very little physical work. I had a brilliant few weeks coaching youngsters at the 22 Yard Cricket Centre in Gloucester, and that was a nice way to get some cricket in when all I could do in the gym was technical sessions on my core and pelvis strength…not my cup of tea at all!

The break, though, allowed me to focus on the mental side of my game. I’d never done that before - I’d been all about how to get a wicket, or how to bowl an in-swinger.

But we’ve got a sports psychologist at the club, Emily, and she’s great. For a period, I just spoke at her. She absorbed all of my emotions, the times when I was really high, the times where I was really low. She noticed that I didn’t really understand who I was as a cricketer, -perhaps because of how inconsistent I’ve been, and when she pointed that out it hurt. How could I not know who I am?

I had to make it a positive, though. We spent time working out what I liked, what I didn’t like, and trying to cherry pick the best of it. Doing that taught me that my mindset controls how I perform more than anything else.

I’m very competitive and I can really strop if I am losing. If things aren’t clicking on the day - even for just one ball - or aren’t quite set up right, I can quickly turn to anger or frustration. That negatively impacts my performance.

I also realised that I’m a bit deluded in that I think I can get anyone out, on any pitch, or ‘out bowl’ anyone. I’ve thought that my whole life. It’s part of who I am. It’s in my DNA and how my parents brought me up.

Jase and I chuckle now because when I first turned professional, I’d be calling him all the time asking how I could get in the 1st XI. Or if I did well in the 2nd XI, I’d be straight on the phone asking what I needed to do next.

It’s a massive strength of mine but on the flipside, it can be really challenging if I don’t get my way, or if I’m thinking I should be treated as something that I am not…yet!

And so, this summer one of my aims is to be ‘up’ for longer. Historically, I’ve found it easy to get motivated for the 50-over games in front of big crowds. I love performing in front of people, on the bigger stages.

What I need to do is make sure I’m in the same zone when I’m in the less pressurised environments, like in the 2nds where there are youngsters and trialists playing and there is not as much on the game. It’s up to me to make it what I want to make of it.

It’s been a very positive process for me and already I feel like I’m seeing the impact.

Take the build-up to Desert Springs, for example. For a week or two we didn’t quite know quite what was happening and I had to avoid letting that get to me. My focus was controlling my own controllables.

Once we got out there it was brilliant. It’s like a holiday resort but with no shop and in the middle of a desert. It was either mealtime, training or golf. For a lot of us, that's paradise.

However, because the trip was arranged at such short notice, the wickets were a little undercooked and a bit of rain had made the surface slippery. I wasn’t happy with how I bowled on the first day but knew that I had to bite my tongue.

Both Kirbs and Jase noticed my response to things not going my way. That re-affirmed the work I’ve done over the winter and how significant the mental side is. I think – or at least I hope – they are excited to see me getting into something that I’ve not previously seen as much value in. It is certainly exciting me.

People know that I can bowl – that’s how I got this job – but the challenge now is to be the best version of myself for as long as possible.

That’s going to be my other goal for the summer. Wherever I am, I want to be able to say that I gave my best and I managed myself the best I could. I don’t necessarily need to be the best player, but I want to be the best version of myself.

It’s going to be hard and mentally exhausting, but I’m determined to do it. Managing that would bode well for a good season.

Alfie